CHURCH HURT: Navigating a New Perspective For Emotional Healing
Church hurt doesn’t get enough recognition in the body of Christ. More often than not a person who has experienced this type of pain is rebuked and shamed when they bring it up and forced to figure out how to heal in silence. Since only a select few are trained in both theology and psychology, the likelihood of someone being able to do this on their own with success—that is, in a way that maintains their dignity while also glorifying God, is very slim.
“Stop all that whining.”
“You’re still stuck on that?”
“Don’t talk about the man (or woman) of God!”
These judgments can make the wounded feel as if nobody cares—not even Jesus. Many conclude they’re better off without God, as loving as He seems, and His hateful children.
To be clear, church hurt is not the petty offenses of preferred seats and parking spaces, nor is it the assumed social rejection of losing the annual baking contest. (But social rejection can be a source of church hurt). Church hurt is much more traumatic. At the time of this writing, thorough research has not uncovered a specific definition. Therefore, with some liberty, I define it as the deep emotional pain a person experiences due to the physical, verbal, sexual, psychological, or financial abuse inflicted upon them by a church system, organization, group, leader, or individual.
Though it doesn’t get much attention, church hurt is debilitating to individuals and the universal Church. Just as a runner can not run efficiently with an injury, a Christian can not run the race of faith (Heb. 12:1) efficiently or effectively with unhealed church hurt wounds. Therefore healing is essential for the emotional health of the hurt and the overall mission of the Church.
Healing church hurt begins with a willingness to deal with it. Dealing with it, however, does not include retaliatory actions. God is the judge, and His excellent judgment will render the appropriate verdict (Eccl. 3:17). Dealing with church hurt means being willing to look at emotional pain, accept what happened, examine what caused it, study what it produced, and learn the healthy and effective ways of operating in faith. It is a lot of work that will likely a lot of time to complete. Some have been hurt in more than one area by the Church, and their pain runs very deep. Therefore there is no time limit. Healing takes time, but it’s required for growth—a basic and essential process of life. Furthermore, God is glorified in healing. He is the Healer of His people and desires to heal them (Deut. 32:39).